Friday, November 18, 2011

BPT in Chats

Sometimes I feel that BPT is not confined to just us.. I can see it everywhere. Take my friend Preeti for example.. Just a while ago we had the below superbly productive conversation.

 Chini:  moti
 Sent at 1:13 PM on Friday
 me:  tu ladaku
 Chini:  tu tu tu
 me:  tuuuuuuuuuuuuu
 Sent at 1:21 PM on Friday
 Chini:  fut
 Sent at 1:25 PM on Friday
me:  tu fut
tu tu tu
 Sent at 1:28 PM on Friday
 Chini:  :P
 Sent at 1:34 PM on Friday
 me:  xP
 Sent at 1:35 PM on Friday
In this short conversation we were able to discuss many important things. Lets see:

Chini:  moti
 Well here she pointed towards my need for exercising and behavioural amends very subtly.

me:  tu ladaku
 Chini:  tu tu tu
 me:  tuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Herein we discussed debated and stressed on our points showing how we believe certain thing strongly and stick to them.

Chini:  fut
me:  tu fut
tu tu tu
Afterwards we discussed logistics and urged each other to travel to some place, you know.. have a holiday.
 Chini:  :P
 me:  xP
Finally, actions speak louder than words. We expresses our love for each other through lovely emoticons.
So you see.. few words can mean a lot.. only if you understand them.. !!! 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Woh Ladki..

Well two things might have happened. Either noone is dying to know who the hell this 'Woh Ladki' is or there is some really jealous competitor of ours who has been messing around with our curious fan-mails that talk about how our fans impatiently wait to know who 'woh ladki' is more than Harry Potter fans waited for Deathly Hallows. Come to think of it, neither Swati (now blogging, however blogged only once co-authoress) nor I got any fan-mails!! I would like to believe that the latter is more likely and hence I would like to request all the engineers of the world to pool in their brains to defeat this enemy, save our super awesome blog and bring harmony and peace to this world.

Okay now I should better shut up and take the case of Woh ladki. Oh sorry! Did I just say 'take the case' ? Oh no no no.. I would never ever do that. How could I? Come on. I can't even take the case of Swati (the one time blog wonder). Its so evident in each and every blog. So with woh ladki, it could never happen. Now, I must say that if you are an avid fan and a close follower, you will already have cracked the code of Woh Ladki. But not to worry if you haven't coz today I am gonna tell you about her.

I have a very good friend who is also a BPT. But sometimes she likes being a PKT. So once she went to this pub place in Bangalore. Its a very famous one and she likes it. You might have heard of it if you are a PKT of Bangalore. Its Parrpall Haze. This friend of mine went to Parrpall Haze with some of her other friends. She got a little too drunk and ended up doing something which was a little embarassing. What did she do? Hey buzz off.. I am not tellin ya. I don't want to get killed. Unlike Melman in Madagascar II I have more than two days to live. So she was sitting and chatting with me the next day at this place near Chandu's which is shut down now [RIP the adda].

Girl: ...So this is what happened.

Me: (out loud) what!! you got drunk and hugged your friend's friend!? And you kept calling him up when you came back? Do you even remember or someone told this to you?

Girl: Richa there are so many people here and everyone is looking at us. Please don't keep saying you you you you loudly. I did not okay. It was Woh ladki. Woh ladki got drunk. I did not do anything.

Me: Shit I am sorry. Ok.

And from then on whenever something happened it was Woh Ladki who did everything. My friend just happened to know everytime. So this is how she started telling me the stories starting with the phrase 'Richa tumhein pata hai kal woh ladki ne kya kiya......'

Well this was all about Woh ladki. What? Name? Are you crazy? This time I really don't want to get killed...

BPT laugh types

Well .. so we are here with the types of laughs that occur while you are going BPT... You can hear these laughs when sWaa, rHii, Neha Kesarwani, Amrita, woh ladki or any other BPT goes berserk with laughter. Oops!! Apologies!! We cannot count woh ladki as BPT because she is a PKT type. Appears only as a PKT person and dies immediately as PKT effect vanishes. Reincarnates during another PKT act. Now who the hell is this woh ladki?? Never heard of her before O_o !!
Yeah really?? No troubles. We will solve the mystery of woh ladki later. For now we concentrate on Types of Laughters. They can be broadly classified as:

  1. Hmmhmmhmmhmm: This is the most common form of BPT laugh wherein the laugher is trying to suppress the laughter resulting in a humming sound because of closed mouth. Laugher does so to protect oneself either from the danger of being beaten by the laughee or from unwanted 'what is there to laugh?' stares from other people. During the laughter shoulders shake lightly and eyes light up. The laugher might also fold the lips inside.
  2. Hahahahabp: The purpose of this laughter is to show that laugher is actually laughing and then has shut up immediately. The mouth opens for a while for the hahahaha and shuts suddenly making a 'bpp'sound. It is followed by looking right and then left with the body as still as a statue. This laughter is used in situations where the BPTs have their own silly issues which are not to be laughed upon but are still being laughed upon. Hence it represents forbidden laughter.
  3. Hahahahagmp: Somewhat similar to the second laughter this laughter ends with a 'ggmmpp' sound. The lips make an arc and then retain their original position quickly. Eyes may pop out a little as laughter occurs. It can be classified as forbidden laughter followed by guilt.
  4. Nheeeee: This laugh type is exclusively followed by Neha Kesarwani. It is so designed that the look on your face will represent that you are a goof and you have done some wonderful theatrics of which you seem too happy. It combines the element of innocence which may lead the person in front of you to laugh, say 'aww' or pull your cheek. During the laughter tongue pops out a little, lips become wide in a smile and the head bends a little to the right and maybe left too.
  5. Oww: This actually is not a laughter but a sound more frequently made by Amrita in case she may find your stuff too amusing or too stupid. This phrase may also be followed by silence for two or three seconds instead of 'bye' or 'good-night' when she hangs up the phone.
  6. Hehhehehehhe: This again is not a BPT laugh but a frequently, carelessly and invariably made typing laughter error by Swati Ravi during BPT conversations.

Hence this ends our chapter on BPT laughs. For any queries or doubts please do not revert to either me or my [now blogging!!!] co-authoress. We are not here for answering your questions. Buzz off.

finally a post from ME! Yay!! =D

This was basically a conversation tht sWaa and rHii had about the coming placements in college in bangalore( which means another chance to revive BPT)

rHii: aane waalo ko aane ka bahana chahiye sWaa: suno bahane!  rHii: class boll* toh zaruri haisWaa: placemernt bhi karna majboori hairHii: fisle bina* zindgi adhuri hai*sWaa: kuch BPT bhi aazmaana chahiye!!
 rHii: bhartiyam* mein bhi khana chaahiye
 sWaa: kulfi *bhi dhoond ke laana chahiye!!aane waalo ko aane ka bahana chahiye.
note : *1- >class boll is this really interesting game invented by the two most bpt ppl(u know who). class ball is really easy to make and play both..just collect all the paper u can find in class(outside paper usually not allowed tho at times of emergency it is permissible) and get them in yr fist and press real hard till u get a nice smooth round ball known as Class Boll!!  vellagiri zindabad!*2-> this refers to the top most floor in college which is newly constructed and thus has a very smooth flooring which makes for amazing place to fislo around! we sometimes go there esp to fislo much to the amusement of our placement coordinator.vellagiri zindabad!*3->bhartiyam is this nice eating joint which we frequent often wenever we get sick of canteen food which happens to be quite often.and the order of the day is invariably dal makhani rice. =)*4-> kulfi! tht too from bhartiyam! is one of our favvvvee things... wot some ppl like rHii do is tht before they can order it at the cash counter they go and investigate if it is there or not.she knows whr the kulfi is even before the ppl there do!

Points to Ponder (PTPs) O_o

There are a few details about my non- blogging co-authoress that I would like to share with our fans of this highly popular blog(where are they ?? where are they?? O_o)

  • PTP 1 - Why does everyone call her Swati Ravi? Even Mr. I Need Help who has no clue about our class people addressed her by this name.
  • PTP 2- If you notice Swati Ravi the non-blogging co-authoress has done nothing remarkable since the blog has started. But she surely has updated her profile picture. ooooohhh hoooooo.. ahem ahem..

I am so Pissed..

Swati Ravi, this is to tell you that you are a lazy lass. Despite of making one fuckin good awesome BPT masala material in your notebook you are not posting it...

foutre vous

Experiment no. 1

Study: To observe the effect of poking a pen on Muan, Swati n Khum's neck.

Materials Reqd. : Khum, Muan, Swati, Notebook, Pen (Reynolds) [Ehh.. WTF! o_O Why Reynolds?? Kyoki Reynolds mein hai kuch baat. Now STFU!!]

Location: Lecture hall (no ideas of what the lecture hall no. is @_@), Deptt. of FMS.

Observer: Richa
[Random observers: Amrita, Supreet]


Step 1- Sit at the last bench and see that it should be exactly behind Khum's.
Step 2- Take a Reynolds pen. [colour no bar]
Step 3- Suddenly poke it into back of Khum's neck.
Step 4- Take the pen back.
Step 5- Repeat infinite times for recording observation (n having fun).
Step 6- Also repeat for Muan, Swati.


(i) Khum's neck senses the poke and shoulders rise up slowly and significantly to a level directly proportional to the intensity of the poke.
(ii) Khum turns back to view the poker (Swati Ravi !! Swati Ravi!!)
(iii) Muan records effect on first poke but develops immunity later.
(iv) No particular effects observed on Swati Ravi. (Warning on LCD flashes.. Only for earth creatures. Experiment not valid for non- blogging aliens.)


(i) Muan, Khum n Swati react differently.
(ii) No effect on oneself (i.e. the alien conducting the experiment.)

[Note: If I am found dead or in a state which is not human, then you may conclude that Swati might have killed me or turned me into an alien.]

[All experiments have been conducted in high class laboratories under expert guidance. Please do not try this at home.]

When sWaa knew the whereabouts..

[Caution: Post meant only for core BPTs. Fashion BPTs n non BPTs may not find it attractive enough. Oh! now what is this core and fashion BPT?? Will be explained in the next post and by the time you will have already guessed it.]

So this time we were at the Forum mall and sWaa [the non blogging co-authoress] did her as usual histrionics. Before the real deal happened we were sitting down at McDonalds guzzling our favourite Coke float when sWaa [trust me she knows nothing, absolutely nothing.. about blogging] told me that she met two cute twins downstairs. She (obviously) imitated them while she narrated the conversation she had exchanged with them. Now as we finished and went downstairs the two cute twins were sitting with their mom.
sWaa : [in her loudest possible voice] Ye dekho ye dono. Cute naa?
As I turned back I saw a baffled mom with a faint smile on her face. I managed a flustered smile and said "Swati jaldi chalo yaha se" while the mom still stared at us. (Hearing about the incident Amrita said " tumhe unki maa ne bachche uthaane wala socha hoga" hehe)
So while we laughed at sWaa's [non-blogger, non-blogger] almost eccentric behaviour her stomach started hurting (coz of the laughter that occured) n she sat down alongside the path while I continued walking, talking to the air.
So later when both of us were sitting and laughing at people around, a very fair woman talking over the phone in a very typical firangi accent passed by. Here is what she said " Naahi naahi wao waaala raod mein naahi aana haii daousra waala raod mein aana haii. ok bye"

Me: oye ye firangan hai kya?
sWaa: Nahi nahi Parsi hai.


BPT example

When we were in the first semester of our FMS, we were three people sharing a room. Me, Swati (again my BPT partner who knows nothing about blogging) and Vidisha (dunno whether she knows about blogging or not, but she is an Accessory Design student). So there was this one night when we were as usual busy with our everyday chores. Swati (the one who doesn't know how to blog) was busy with internet, her eyes popping out like a frog and expressions changing every second as she looked at her computer screen. I was about to sleep as I fiddled with my keypad to send a message. Vidisha was sleeping. The clock showed 12.30 AM. Suddenly Vidisha rolls around towards Swati, gets up and.....
Vidisha: Swati didi....
Swati: (baffled) Haan...???
Vidisha: Kya karoon? (goes to sleep)
Swati is flabbergasted and blank.
Me: (yeah the hero is finally here) hahahahahahahaha
Swati : Ye kya tha be??
Both: hahahahahahaha
The next morning we narrate it to Vidisha who doesn't seem to remember anything. Apparently she comes out with her very regular expression of amused astonishment – "Haiiiin???"

BPT when it started...

Okay now non BPT people might not find it funny but here is what happened once while I and Swati [The co-authoress of this blog who supposedly has no idea about how to post in blogs] were sitting outside the NIFT canteen. It so happens often that we ignore the information that is being given to us and choose to construct our own. So this stylishly dressed very girlish classmate of ours came towards us.

Girl: (points towards the canteen) Is the breakfast still there??
Swaa : Idli
Me: hahahahaha
(girl leaves for canteen)
Swaa: Kya be? Why haha?
Me: Dumbo.. did u listen to what she asked?
Swaa: errr.... no .. why??
[I iterate the conversation again, exactly as it happened]
Both: Hahahahahaha